By Jennifer Elliott
If you have been asked to write and deliver a eulogy, or if you have volunteered, consider it an honor. But also consider that writing and delivering a eulogy should serve as both a remembrance and a tonic for your listeners. It is not a time for you to grieve. While you may get choked up, you need to be in a place of strength to be effective and helpful.
Hopefully, you will have some time to write it and work on it a bit beforehand, but sometimes you may not. In the depths of grief, we do not always think as clearly as we would like. Hopefully, the following ideas will help make the process go smoothly.
Before you even begin writing, - brainstorm. Brainstorm and list the following ideas about the person who just died.
Allow these ideas to percolate for a few days and continue to add to the list(s) as more ideas occur to you or information presents itself. Reach out to close friends and family members if you need to generate more data, material, or accounts. If you have any doubts as to the accuracy of your information, make sure to fact-check it with close family or friends who would be knowledgeable.
If you are struggling to generate ideas, imagine that you are sitting with a good friend who has never met this person. And they ask you, “Tell me about ______.” Begin. Begin to write your ideas as though you were speaking about this person to your friend.
Pay attention to song lyrics, as you may wish to include these in your eulogy. Pay attention to random ideas that keep popping into your head. When I was writing Grant’s eulogy, the image and thought of a barn cat kept returning. After consideration, I made the connection as to why and tied that into his tribute.
A Few More Tips
If you are not accustomed to public speaking, here are some tips to help you.
The eulogy needn’t be memorized. Reading from your notes is acceptable. However, you will want to be familiar enough with the content so that as you are presenting it, it is as though you are talking, not reading. It will also allow you to make eye contact with the audience.
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