Holding Grief: A Love Letter from a Recovering Death Denier

After experiencing the loss of four family members within five years and witnessing one take their last breath, Jennifer Elliott experienced a shift—from being a death denier to going toe to toe with grief.

In the process, she had to reckon with nearly fifty years of ignoring the one thing none of us can avoid. This work led her to questions that had a powerful effect on her life.

If we did give death and grief the proper attention, could we develop a better relationship with them?

Could we learn to accept them as part of life, then take their hands and walk comfortably with them?

          Is there a right way to grieve?

Is there a wrong way to grieve?

Is there a better way to grieve?

Could we expedite the grief work and healing process to go on to live freely and even fruitfully?

Holding Grief: A Love Letter from a Recovering Death Denier is Elliott’s very personal—but wholly universal—exploration of death and grief’s relentless ebb and flow. It’s a memoir that reaches out to the reader, with accessible, action-driven self-help.

 In thirteen stand-alone remembrances of deaths that have touched her—close relatives and neighbors, classmates and dear pets, those caused by accident or violence or simply because it was time—Elliott invites us into her life. Shying away from sterile and sanitized discussions about death, she goes elbow-deep into the messy and complicated feelings associated with death and grief.

As readers, we emerge not just with a deeper understanding but also with a toolkit for healing. With sympathy drawn from her own experience, Elliott provides us with thirteen opportunities for personally addressing grief, each a stepping-stone toward healing, all with a hope for developing a better relationship with both grief and death and, perhaps, some measure of inner peace.